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| HOPE Mentor - Los Alamos, NM
Jeff and Halo met at the University of Idaho where they earned their undergraduate degrees. They were married in June 1995. Within a month of the wedding, they moved to Berkeley, CA, where Jeff worked on a Ph.D. in Chemistry at the University of California. After he finished graduate school, and they settled in Los Alamos, NM, they decided to start a family. In April 2002, the couple got their first positive pregnancy test. However, within days of those two lines, Halo started spotting and miscarried at about 5 weeks. In August 2002, the couple got another positive pregnancy test. The couple’s first son, Jesper Thomas DeWitt Golden, was born still on April 28, 2003, at just over 41 weeks gestation after a normal, healthy pregnancy. An emergency ultrasound delivered the worst news on earth; that the baby they had so wanted was no longer living. When Jesper was born, Jeff, Halo’s parents and even their midwives were all there to welcome him and wish him Godspeed. Even the nurse, who was a new nurse and had chosen to be with them each night they were in the hospital, spent some time with him and shed some tears for him after he was born. Never having been one to live life with regrets, Halo says she has no regrets with Jesper either. Instead, she takes the lessons of his life and his death and learns from them. Previous losses had already taught her not to take time with loved ones for granted. She never wished her pregnancy with him to “be over” because she knew the “belly time” with him was as much of a gift as he was. “I am honored everyday that he chose us,” Halo said. Sixteen months after Jesper died, Jeff and Halo welcomed their second son, a healthy boy, Nathanyl Ander DeWitt Golden. He goes by Nate, and he is nearly three now. He does a pretty good job of trying their patience every single day, but they couldn't love him more. It is amazing how a simple "I sorry Mama" or "I vus you" seems to make up for all the aggravation. He knows about his brother, as well as a preschooler can really understand the existence and death of someone he’s never met. Nate is certain Jesper's favorite color is green. If anyone would know, it would be a brother. Currently, the couple is trying to add another child to their family. They have been trying for about a year. They really want Nate to have a playmate, a best friend, an enemy, as only a sibling can be. Halo has a BA in English Literature and a minor in Journalism. She does freelance editorial work for Key Curriculum Press in Emeryville, CA, and Simon & Schuster in New York. She is also a freelance editor for friends, family, and any other opportunities that arise locally. Halo is currently working with another bereaved mother in NM to pass the MISSing Angels Bill and make some much-needed changes regarding the recording of stillbirths in that state. She is also an active member of her local La Leche League. halo@missfoundation.org |
