My first contact with Dana Southworth was a phone call from Hawaii. Fate had brought us together a year earlier in a workshop I taught in Arizona. Dana, a nurse, attended so she could learn more about helping parents who experienced the tragic death of their baby. Now, a year later, the call was paradoxically different. Dana, well into her pregnancy, had learned that her unborn child has holoprocencephaly, a fatal condition. Dana and her family were moving back to Arizona to be near relatives. The doctors told her that Kylie would probably not survive the stress of her birth. Dana called me a few months later when she and her family arrived back in Phoenix. We spoke frequently during the final trimester. Dana would tell me that her greatest fear was that Kylie would be stillborn. Yet, she kept faith that she would survive birth. In August of 2000, I met Kylie on the day of her birth.
I walked into Thunderbird Samaritan Hospital thankful that she’d survived her birth. When I saw Dana and her husband, Dan, I knew they, too, were overwhelmed with gratitude. But there was fear too. The odds were against Kylie’s survival. And yet, the beauty of this little child permeated the fear and love prevailed.
I saw Kylie and Dana at their home in February. She is the most beautiful little girl I’ve ever seen. As I held her in my arms, her piercing blue eyes captivated me. She would smile with such adoring joyfulness that you couldn’t stand to look away from her. And if, for one moment, my eyes wandered from Kylie, she would proudly demand that my gaze return to her bewildering blues.
I drove home that day in tears. I cried tears of wonder that this little child and her devoted parents had so much to teach the world. That love is strong enough to conquer fear. That family is forever. That the human spirit grants hope during times of greatest turmoil. But mostly, that each and every day is a gift.
I was a student that day. And my teacher, Kylie Southworth, taught me a great lesson. For that, I cherish her. She is a beloved little girl who has already begun to make this world a better place, impacting hundreds of people with her presence.
Dana and I talked about Kylie’s time on this earth. Dana’s realistic, yet hopeful, perspective comforted me. She doesn’t know how long Kylie will be here with us – but she knows that they are grateful for every day of memories and love. Kylie had shown us the gifts that matter most; the treasure in every moment – a vulnerability of time and the invincible power of love. And once again, our greatest teacher is but a little child with tremendous spirit.
“Love is the strongest bond of all…”
